Ali's Lessons Learned

The new year is a time of reflection. It is a time to consider where we have been, what has changed. Am I the person I set out to be at the beginning of 2019? Am I better person, or have I stagnated? The last several year-ends found me in a difficult place. Beholden almost completely to food. Struck with abject terror at the idea of not buying junk food every time I went into the store. I knew I had a problem. I knew my actions and attitudes were not pleasing to God. I knew they were damaging to my marriage, and leaving an impression on my daughter. I knew things needed a change. I felt powerless to do so. I would attempt something, but it always seemed to fail. This year, finally, I feel that I have not stayed in stagnation. I have attacked my issues head on. I lost 25 pounds in a year, more than I have in a long time. My body is healthier. My mind is healthier. I have added back in regular Scripture reading and meditation. I am not yet the person I hope to be. I still s...

“And you who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.” Ephesians 2:1-3 The convicting part of this passage for me comes in verse 3: “among whom also we conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of our own hearts...” Ouch. For me, I follow too much my own heart, my own feelings, my own desires. I turn to food as comfort, and entertainment for distraction. I focus on what I want, not what I am called to do. With that attitude, I find myself identifying with the old man, who was dead in sin. This passage paints a rather bleak picture overall. Dead in sin, conducting ourselves among the sons of disobedience, ...

“But then, indeed, when you did not know God, you served those which by nature are not gods. But now, after you have known God, or rather are known by God, how is it that you turn again to the weak and beggarly elements, to which you desire again to be in bondage?” Galatians 4:8-9 I could smell the grease, taste the salt, and feel the fries dissolving in my mouth. As I sat in line at the drive-thru, I had only one thing on my mind: carbs. I'd had a terrible day. I was stressed out, and probably hyped up on caffeine. If I could just get the rush of fat and salt and carbohydrate, all of it would be better. But my focus was in the wrong place. I like to say I don't eat emotionally, but that's a lie. Not every time I binge it's emotional. Sometimes it is just force of habit. I am guilty, however, of turning to food when I'm stressed or angry or sad. If I can just get the hit of dopamine, it'll all be better. Food is a liar. It promises to take care of o...

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who gave Himself for me. This verse reminds me of the first Heidelberg Catechism that we use as a confession of faith in our church sometimes. Q. What is your only comfort in life and in death? A. That I am not my own, but belong body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood and has set me free from all the power of the devil. He also preserves me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head; indeed, all things must work together for my salvation. Therefore, by his Holy Spirit he also assures me of eternal life and makes me heartily willing and ready from now on to live for him. “I am not my own.” Such a crazy, wonderful statement. Not only do I not own myself, I belong, wholly, fu...