Ali's Lessons Learned

Sitting on my bed, I stared at the brand new creature in my arms. She was beautiful, eyes open wide, staring in wonder at the fuzzy world around her. She was so small as I held her, and yet she had seemed SO BIG just a few minutes before (if you know what I mean). But how did we get here, to this magical dreamland of oxytocin-induced bliss?  My birth story does not start with “I went into labor at x time.” It needs just a little more background. Warning: This story is pretty detailed. Depending on how much you actually want to know about birth, proceed with caution. At around 36 weeks, I began to develop PUPPP, which stands for pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy. In short, it is the worst rash that you can possibly imagine. It has no known cause, though some theories include an over-taxed liver, an allergic reaction to the baby's cells, or overstretched skin. It typically starts in the belly's stretch marks. It is more common in first pregnancies, particularly

I began my ketogenic diet in April 2017. In June, I did something I had done many times before. I took a pregnancy test. My hope were high, but realistically I knew it was unlikely that I would be pregnant. I had ovulated in May, but I had ovulated multiple times over the last year. This month would probably be no different. Except it was. Ever so slowly, a second line developed on that pregnancy test. What? For real? Was this actually happening? I snapped a picture on my phone, smiling like a fool. It had finally happened. I was pregnant. I went to Walmart to try to find a “Daddy's favorite” type onesie to use to announce to my husband. They did not have what I was looking for, but lucky for me, it was only a couple of weeks before Father's Day. I found the perfect card. On the front it read, “Who is a Dad?” The inside answered, “YOU. You is a dad.” Home again, I placed the two positive tests and the card inside a gift bag. I could hardly wait for my husband to arrive. He o

Now what? I kept asking myself this as the months passed after my diagnosis with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I was not interested in taking medication to lose weight, control my testosterone, force a period, and force ovulation. It seemed there had to be a different answer. By working to remove simple carbohydrates like white flour and potatoes from my diet, I had shortened the length of my long, anovulatory periods. By introducing weightlifting into the equation, I had begun to ovulate occasionally. My lifestyle clearly influenced my menstrual cycle. This we knew before having a name for my problems. But why did they have that affect? As we dove into what PCOS was, how it all worked, the answer became clear. The root of the condition is not in the ovaries. The problem is insulin resistance . At its heart, PCOS is a metabolic condition (meaning it relates to how food is processed). For most people, eating a meal with a lot of carbohydrates or sugar signals the pancreas to secrete

No answers, no hope. That was where I found myself after 18 months of trying to figure out why I had periods that lasted 3 or 4 weeks at a time. For the next year, nothing really changed. I did, however, make some interesting discoveries. The first discovery was food. At the recommendation of the naturopath, I had tried to eliminate simple carbs. I will be upfront and say I was not good at this much of the time. I struggle with binge eating and food addiction. My years of trying to conceive were weeks where I ate minimal carbohydrates followed by weeks where I ate far too many donuts and chips. Because of this cycle, however, I noticed something interesting. If I ate poorly for a month, the next month's period would be weird and too long. If I ate more cleanly, the next month I was more likely to ovulate (more on that in a minute) and have a normal, 7 day period.The food I ate certainly played into my periods The second discovery was exercise. I have always hated exercise. Why

My husband and I were newlyweds, eagerly awaiting our first child. My period was a week late, and I swear I had every early pregnancy symptom in the book: nausea, bloating, even food cravings! I was going to wait just another couple days before I took a test. They were expensive, I had heard, and I was doing my best to keep our spending as low as possible. But then, heartbreak. The miserable witch Aunt Flow showed her ugly face anyways. At the time, I was sure I had miscarried. I guess it doesn't always happen the first month. Surely the next month it would all come together! Except it didn't. Once again, I was not pregnant. My period didn't just show up, it also wouldn't leave! I had weird spotting for 3 weeks, followed by a normal “period” bleeding pattern. It tapered back off to a light spotting. After 28 days of bleeding, it finally stopped. For a weekend. Then it started over again! If this pattern had continued for even just a month or two, it would have b

The new year is a time of reflection. It is a time to consider where we have been, what has changed. Am I the person I set out to be at the beginning of 2019? Am I better person, or have I stagnated? The last several year-ends found me in a difficult place. Beholden almost completely to food. Struck with abject terror at the idea of not buying junk food every time I went into the store. I knew I had a problem. I knew my actions and attitudes were not pleasing to God. I knew they were damaging to my marriage, and leaving an impression on my daughter. I knew things needed a change. I felt powerless to do so. I would attempt something, but it always seemed to fail. This year, finally, I feel that I have not stayed in stagnation. I have attacked my issues head on. I lost 25 pounds in a year, more than I have in a long time. My body is healthier. My mind is healthier. I have added back in regular Scripture reading and meditation. I am not yet the person I hope to be. I still s

“And you who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.” Ephesians 2:1-3 The convicting part of this passage for me comes in verse 3: “among whom also we conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of our own hearts...” Ouch. For me, I follow too much my own heart, my own feelings, my own desires. I turn to food as comfort, and entertainment for distraction. I focus on what I want, not what I am called to do. With that attitude, I find myself identifying with the old man, who was dead in sin. This passage paints a rather bleak picture overall. Dead in sin, conducting ourselves among the sons of disobedience,